


Caught In Sunlight

by carolinecrane



Series: Retrograde [22]
Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-23
Updated: 2004-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 03:53:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6314293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Resolution leads to new beginnings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caught In Sunlight

Thirty-five hours later and Speed still can't stop thinking about it. The words keep playing over and over in his head, and it's not like he didn't know how Tyler felt about him, but he's right…hearing it makes a difference. And that's the reason he can't stop thinking about it, because he didn't say it back – not really, anyway – and he can't help feeling guilty.

Still, it's not like Tyler doesn't know how he feels. Not that there's anything he can do about it now anyway, because they're at work and this is the wrong place for that conversation. Granted, it's been a quiet morning, with Horatio and Calleigh in court for most of the day and him and Delko left behind to wade through what feels like mountains of paperwork, but it's still not the place to have a conversation about his personal life.

Even if his mind keeps wandering from case files to the lab just down the hall, where Tyler's probably spinning his wheels looking for something to keep him busy until it's time to go home. And he hates days like this, when the whole city's quiet and minutes drag out like hours, because all he really wants to do is go back to Tyler's place and pick up where they left off last night.

This morning, really, because there was that thing in the kitchen that makes him flush and shift in his chair every time he thinks about it. He knows he should go home, check in with his brother and maybe try to figure out what exactly Matt's plans are, but that's the last thing he wants to do. He doesn't want to spend any more time away from Tyler than he absolutely has to, and he's really far gone if he can't even keep his mind on his job long enough to fill out a few simple reports.

He sighs and gives up just as the door opens, and he looks up half-expecting to see Tyler. He knows better, but that doesn't stop him from being disappointed when it's not him. As soon as the disappointment surfaces it's replaced by surprise, and Speed tenses automatically as Bernstein walks in and lets the door swing shut behind him.

"The receptionist said you were back here."

"Paperwork," Speed says, gesturing toward the pile sitting mostly untouched on the table in front of him. "You here on a case?"

"Sort of. It's about your brother."

He flashes back to the last time they had this conversation, over the phone where he couldn't see Bernstein's face and read what he was thinking. It's the first time they've seen each other since that day in his car, and Speed's not sure how he's supposed to feel. He's never been any good at this stuff, at knowing how to act after he's ended something he never should have started in the first place.

"What about him?"

"The D.A.'s decided to drop the charges."

"You don't need to do me any favors."

"It's not like that," Bernstein answers, lips pursed a little like maybe he's insulted that Speed would think it. He's not sure what else to think, though, especially when Bernstein could have told him this over the phone. "They got the dealer they were after, they decided not to waste taxpayer dollars prosecuting a bunch of kids who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Your brother got lucky, that's all."

"This time."

Bernstein sighs at that and leans against the table, arms crossed over his chest. "Listen, Tim, he's not a bad kid. He just needs a little guidance."

And he's not sure when everybody in Miami decided they know his own brother better than he does, but considering how little he does know about Matt, he's starting to think maybe it's true. "I'll make sure he stays out of trouble while he's here."

"Good," Bernstein answers, but instead of straightening up and heading for the door like Speed expects him to, he settles a little more heavily against the table. "So…you and that lab tech…"

"Yeah," he interrupts, not even bothering to deny it, because even if he does he knows Bernstein won't believe him. And he should have known this was coming – there's no other reason for Bernstein to come all the way down to the lab, but the last thing he wants to do is talk about his relationship with Tyler. Not with Bernstein or anybody else, and especially not when he's still trying to figure out how to talk to Tyler about it. "Listen…"

"Look, I'm not trying to mess anything up for you here," Bernstein says, talking over Speed like he didn't even hear him. "I'm just surprised. You made it pretty clear you weren't interested in anything serious."

"I wasn't." The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, and he feels a little guilty when Bernstein winces. But it's the truth, even if he can't explain why it's different now. He's not even sure he knows; he can't put his finger on any one thing, not when there are a million little things that add up to the reason he fell in love with Tyler.

Before he embarrasses himself by stumbling over an explanation neither of them wants to hear Bernstein stands up, nodding and reaching up to smooth imaginary wrinkles out of his jacket. "I better get back. Say hi to your brother for me. And tell him I meant what I said about keeping his nose clean."

"Yeah, sure," he answers, barely aware of what he's agreeing to because he'd say pretty much anything at this point if it meant this conversation would be over. That seems to be good enough for Bernstein, though, because a second later he's heading for the door and Speed's right behind him, following Bernstein as though he's afraid if he doesn't watch him leave he might change his mind and come back to ask more questions.

They're halfway down the hall before Bernstein stops, turning toward him again and opening his mouth to say something. Speed tenses when he realizes they're standing right in front of the break room, glancing over his shoulder before he can stop himself to make sure nobody's watching them. His heart skips a beat when he sees Tyler leaning against the counter, elbows resting against the countertop and even when he's panicking Speed can't help wanting to touch.

It takes him a second or two to remember that Bernstein's still standing there, but when he hears a throat clear he forces himself to turn away from Tyler. And he's not sure what he's supposed to say, but before he embarrasses himself by stumbling through an apology Bernstein shakes his head and takes a few steps backwards. "See you around, Tim."

There's not much he can say to that, so he just nods and waits for Bernstein to turn around before he pushes the break room door open. Tyler's still watching him when he walks in, the corners of his mouth turned up in a crooked grin and Speed knows he doesn't have anything to be sorry for, but he feels like he should be apologizing anyway. "Hey."

"Hey," Tyler echoes, shifting against the counter and there's no way Speed can focus on an actual conversation if he's going to keep _moving_ like that. "How's the paperwork going?"

"Slowly." He stops on the opposite side of the room, hands gripping the counter hard to keep himself from doing anything stupid like grabbing Tyler and pushing him down on the table. "Bernstein just stopped by to tell me they dropped the charges against Matt."

"Yeah? That's great," Tyler answers, smiling that smile that makes it almost impossible for Speed to keep his hands to himself, and there should really be some kind of rule against slow days in the lab. All he really wants to do is take Tyler home where he doesn't have to worry about rules and appearances and who could walk in on them any second, but he's still got hours of paperwork ahead of him and unless they get a call he's going to go crazy by the end of the day.

Or maybe he already is crazy, because Tyler's looking at him like he's expecting Tim to say something, only he has no idea what. "Sorry?"

And there goes that smile again, amused and affectionate and he doesn't have to guess at what it means anymore. "I asked if you think Matt's going to stay in town now that he doesn't have a court date to worry about."

"I don't know," Speed answers, because he's been ignoring his brother along with the rest of the world for the past two days, and for all he knows Matt could have gone back to Syracuse already. "I should probably stop by my place tonight and talk to him."

Tyler nods, his smile fading a little as he looks down at the table between them. "Your brother must have really hit it off with Detective Bernstein to make him come all the way down here and deliver the news in person."

He knows Tyler's a little jealous of Bernstein – he got that much when Tyler called him 'your detective', and he hates that it makes him feel better to hear the hint of jealousy in Tyler's voice. And it's stupid, because he already knows exactly how Tyler feels about him, but he finds himself smiling anyway. "You know that's all over, right?"

"I trust you," Tyler says, grinning when Speed rolls his eyes. "And I know where you sleep."

The door opens as he opens his mouth to answer, and Speed's reminded with a suddenness that makes his heart stop of exactly where they are. Of who could walk in while he's flirting with Tyler like neither of them have anything to lose. He swallows a rush of fear and glances over his shoulder, stomach twisting as he watches Delko walk in.

"Man, these reports are killing me," Delko says, and Speed's heart starts again when he realizes Delko hasn't even looked at either of them. Suddenly he's not sure what he was so worried about, and he feels a little stupid for panicking at the thought of someone catching them having a conversation.

"You could be in court," Speed reminds him, hoping his voice sounds more even than it feels.

"That would be better than this. _Anything_ would be better than this. Speed, man, let's go grab some lunch. I gotta get out of here before I lose it."

"Yeah, okay," Speed answers automatically. As soon as he does he remembers what he was doing before Eric walked in, but he tells himself it's just as well they were interrupted. Besides, a change of scenery will break things up a little, and maybe when they get back the afternoon won't seem so long.

And he knows he could just walk out, that Tyler would understand if he didn't say anything else. He probably wouldn't even bring it up later, because everyone expects him and Delko to hang out, but Tyler…he's a different story. Only Speed knows if he just walks away he'll spend the rest of the day regretting it, so before he can talk himself out of it he stops and looks pointedly at Tyler. "You coming?"

The smile that gets him makes it worth whatever questions Delko's going to ask him, and when Tyler shakes his head Speed has to bite the insides of his cheeks to keep himself from arguing. Because asking is one thing, but actually sitting through a lunch with Tyler and Delko is something else entirely.

"I better not. Night shift stuck me with a backlog of video to catalog, I want to get it processed before I go home."

"Sounds like night shift's problem," Delko says, grinning when Tyler laughs. "You gotta eat, right?"

"Maybe next time," Tyler answers, glancing at Speed long enough to smile and there's no way he's going to make it through the rest of the day.

"What, are you trying to score points with H? Come on."

And he should have known Delko wouldn't just let it go, but Speed stops himself from grabbing him by the shoulders and shoving him out of the room. He's pretty sure he couldn't talk his way out of that, and it's already been a confusing enough day without having to explain to Delko why he doesn't want Tyler to go to lunch with them.

"It never hurts to do a little sucking up to the boss, right?" Tyler says, and Speed can't even look at him because he's having a hard enough time keeping his cool without watching Tyler's mouth when he says words like 'sucking'.

"Suit yourself, man." Delko shrugs and turns toward Speed, clapping him on the shoulder before he reaches for the door. "Looks like it's just you and me."

"Yeah," Speed murmurs, catching the door as Delko brushes past him. He waits until he's sure Delko's already walking away before he turns back to Tyler, mouth open to say something before he gives up and lets out a frustrated groan. He turns away before he has time to change his mind, smiling in spite of himself when Tyler's laughter follows him into the hallway.


End file.
